The Trouble with Good News.
Good news landed three times this week. Each time, I found a new way to ruin it.
For many years I worked in sales. Most of us have. Selling a product, a service, our skills, or our personality. Life is full of transactions. Lots of opportunities for wins. Equal opportunities for rejection.
This week gave me three big moments. Huge moments. They arrived almost back to back, and for an instant I let myself feel wonderful. Then, in true Statler and Waldorf fashion, those two Muppets in the balcony who start with one opinion and swing to the opposite, that feeling turned into something else entirely.
Here are those three moments and their alternate reactions.
1. The Leica Mastershot
Leica Fotografie International selected one of my photos as a “Mastershot.” It is their second highest honour, behind “Picture of the Week.”
I was delighted.
Then I saw that someone I know personally had been awarded Picture of the Week. Of all the gin joints. Their photo is amazing, and they deserved the praise, which poured in through our WhatsApp group.
In the past, when anyone in the group had a photo selected, they would share the news and the congratulations would follow. I felt that sharing my achievement would pale in comparison. I said nothing. I shared a story on Instagram, and twenty-four hours later it was gone. I haven’t thought about it again until now.
2. The Der Greif Publication
Der Greif is an award-winning photography magazine distributed globally. Issue 18 launches this week at Paris Photo, the biggest photography fair in the world.
They have chosen one of my images for the issue. My first ever appearance in print. A huge milestone.
However, until I physically hold a copy, I don’t actually know which photo they picked. And somehow that uncertainty has soured the experience. I keep imagining it’s a photo I don’t like. Not the best representation of my work. Even though they chose it. That is some strange, twisted logic.
3. The Gallery Showcase
My wife and I launched a gallery, ankydyn gallery, and we have our first major show in person at Miami Art Week, just two blocks from Art Basel. Sixteen featured mixed-media artists. Twenty-nine photographers.
Last week we announced the photographers, and the feedback has been incredible.
But the excitement never really surfaced. I am so desperate for the photographers (and the other artists, but my affinity is the photographers) to have a good experience that my own joy is buried under anxiety and the weight of expectation.
It feels like inviting friends to a fancy restaurant. They insist on paying, but you still feel you have to cook, otherwise it won’t be good enough.
From my years in business development, not much has changed. You have your KPIs, professional and personal. You hit them, tick the box, and move straight to the next. Achievements are rarely celebrated because “enough” always moves just out of reach. Even when you know the thinking is irrational, you can’t help yourself.
Maybe the hustle mindset rewires us. “Enough” becomes the can we keep kicking down the road. The pursuit of happiness gets confused with the pursuit of more.
I am in my mid-forties now and no closer to understanding what “enough” means. What I do know is what I do not want. That feels like a start, but it does not define satisfaction either. Especially as I feel I’ve known what I don’t want for a few years now.
It isn’t validation, though I keep pretending it might be. I still tell myself that if I achieve x, I will feel y.
But these three things didn’t change how I feel. Writing this is my way of noticing that.
Validation feels like bowling a strike. You tell yourself you are not a good bowler (and I am definitely not), and that everyone bowls a strike eventually. But when you do, you don’t celebrate. You sit back down, pretending it is nothing, while everyone else seems to enjoy the game with effortless ease.
Being human is weird.
P.S. If any of this rings true, I’d love to know how you handle your own version of “good news.” Do you let it land, or do you find a way to dismantle it too?
I think your post is validation for many artists, including myself. Thanks for writing this so honestly.
and I want to see that photo that was selected for “Mastershot.”